It’s been hard for me lately to focus on school and on other things because I feel alone. Not alone but like the only person that I have is myself.
I’ve put up a brick wall ever since 2 years ago and for awhile now its built up higher and is now made of steel. I’m not letting anyone in and its hard for me to go out of the wall too. Because of this I feel like I’m alone, hiding behind the wall where no one can reach me. I’ve lost trust in so many people it’s disappointing. I don’t mean to but I just think that I can’t trust anyone other than myself. I can’t seem to confide in others like I used to and I haven’t been able to put my 100% into anyone. I’ve tried to deal with problems myself and from that I shut down. It’s tough to not even be able to tell that actual one person that has helped me through really hard times what I’ve been feeling. I couldn’t even reach out to them when I knew they would probably be one of the people that could help me. But I feel like it’s too late. I’ve already shut down and kept to myself.
All I can really say is that I’m just really sorry that I’ve let it carry this far. I shouldn’t have closed myself completely, but I just have to go through the process of being able to trust others again one step at a time. But for right now I know it’s not gonna happen anytime soon.