Tomorrow, Jan. 18th, would’ve been my grandpa’s 80th birthday. Would’ve. I still think about him and wonder what it would be like if he were still here. This might’ve been the empty feeling I felt yesterday… maybe. Thinking about it just makes me tear up, sigh.
Honestly, I’m hurt and I feel like I will always be hurt/disappointed. I feel like I didn’t get enough time with him, I didn’t get to know him and we definitely didn’t get to see each other often. Communication was a factor but also the distance. He lived in Kent, I was in Burien. If I could, I would’ve just went to visit him when I had the time or just call to try and have a conversation (if my Vietnamese was more fluent).
I’ve always been jealous of my other cousins who got to surround him constantly, be around him and grow a bond. I barely have pictures with him (actually, I don’t have any pictures of us together…) and sometimes I think that I was too young and naive to cherish my time with him. If my grandparent’s didn’t spontaneously come visit us before they left to Cali that year, it would’ve been months since the last time I saw them and he would’ve left, just like that.
I can’t help but think that I’ve disappointed him in so many ways, gosh. I could go on and on but that will never bring him back. I could complain and wish that I could’ve done this and that but the reality is that I didn’t. That’s just something I have to deal with.
I really miss you, Ong Ngoai…
It’s such a beautiful day. The sun is shining but it’s chilly. Just the way I like it! The ice is glistening when the sunlight shines and when I walk along the path it’s like a movie. It’s perfect.
Though in my eyes it’s a perfect day, where is this gloomy feeling coming from?
Why do I have such a glum face and why do I just feel empty. The day has just begun, I don’t get it…
It’s not much of a change and you can’t really see it. Especially since the lighting is bad.
I feel like I’ve always had that same keep it safe and don’t rebel type of attitude. It’s not a big step or big thing but it’s different. I’m ombre-ing? my hair, well it’s been a couple weeks already. It was spur of the moment and different and I love it! I think it looks great and just the feeling of living a bit on the edge has given me a satisfying feeling. I’m not always playing it safe, I’m taking risks, being different.
I always worried about pleasing my parents or doing things that might get them mad or disappointed. I was scared out of my wits of my parents giving me the third degree about doing this to my hair. HAHA. They finally noticed after… maybe a month and a half.. haha and they don’t seem too upset they thought I used chemically dye but I didn’t so yea they seemed fine with it! WOOT WOOT!
HAHAHA!! I cracked up pretty bad!
Work work work…
Today was the first day I actually had a good time at work. I got used to the system! WOOT! We had fun, full of laughs, and it was quite productive! :]
Did I mention I LOVE dressing up for work? It’s so nice to be able to wear business attire that I would never be able to wear casually. I bought all these clothes for a reason and now it’s being put to use. YAY! I love business clothes, dresses, blazers, cardigans! sigh… :]
Time flew by so fast and before I knew it, I conducted my first 2 interviews, processed paperwork and sent a jillion emails to volunteers, and I even stayed 20 mins longer than scheduled.
Yes today was a good day :]
Although I don’t get paid this internship is such a great experience so far. Being with my fellow interns and working for this cause has been great!
The Borgen Project, what is it?
We are a non-profit organization whose goal is to downsize global poverty! :D